Writing a blog about your life is kind of funny when your life is pretty stable/comfortable. Everything comes and goes and comes again, just like seasons. I was asking Britton if I should post some pictures of our beautiful sunset that we had the other evening. Or of the nice flower bouquet I made from our garden flowers. Or about our chickens. Or a video of a concert we went to. But it seems like we’ve already posted all of those. We are in a loop. We are in a rut. We are rinsing and repeating. (When does it stop!?) I imagine our readers (you all!) thinking -they just do the same things over and over again.
Orchids and sunsets- some favorite blog topics
Which makes it all the more important that we now have Puerto Rico in our pockets ready to go. It’s something that is completely different from our usual routine. It is uncomfortable. We don’t know what to expect. We are excited. It is definitely not just rinse and repeat- at least not yet.
Of course coming home from Puerto Rico to our “normal” here in Greeley is nice. I love my warm showers with strong water pressure and the cool air when I walk out of the bathroom. I love how courteous Colorado drivers are. I love how long and straight and virtually traffic-less our roads are. I love how quiet it can be. I love the pastel more subtle beauty here. Especially in the summer when everything wakes up to life for a few months. I love speaking English and knowing exactly the nuance and slang of what someone else says to me. I even (sometimes) love our winter nights curled on the couch with our fireplace on watching a movie with a cup of hot cocoa or chili in my hands. The numbing comfort and sterility of it all…
But BAM! I want to experience life! And sometimes to really awaken to that, sometimes you have to do the exact opposite of what you are used to. You have to get a little dirty. You have to be a little uncomfortable at first. So I want to see what it’s like to take cool showers and walk into warm air! I want to see what it’s like to drive however you damn well please as if you were walking around a crowded mall. I want to hear the bugs and frogs and birds who are happy to be living outside year round. I want to see in-your-face, loud colors. All year round! I want to become so fluent at Spanish again that I dream in it. That I learn the Puerto Rican slang. I want to know what it’s like to never be cold.
I think it’s important that people get out there and try. Yah, you might fail. You might initially regret it. You might feel scared, insecure or not confident. But I think dreaming big (or even little) is part of what life is all about. Once you have your basic needs met -like food, water, shelter, love and companionship- I think dreams are just as important. They keep you going; they keep you striving to get better. If a tree didn’t seek new heights, was it a tree? And even if we fall, even in failure we learn! Maybe even more so! We learn every step of the way.
Sometimes I think my ideas and dreams are too big for my reality. Like when you are so hungry at an all-you-can-eat place that you fill your plate to the brim only to realize your stomach is just not big enough to hold it all. Britton and I are a good complement to each other in that way. Sometimes he is the brakes to my otherwise overfull plate of crazy “Lucy you have some ‘splainin to do” half cooked ideas, and other times he’s all in with me -as hungry for life as ever. He helps me moderate our risks, and I help him to be less afraid.
In the end, this is all a journey to writing our own story. The conflicts in the story are what makes it interesting! We have to remember that as we go along. It is never so bad that we can’t start again. Even in losing my dad I think I have gained a better understanding of this. Death is there to teach us how to live! To help us remember we are only in this form for so long. So if you feel a calling to something -to your dreams- however weird they are- go for it! It may change or evolve over time, but that’s just as well in a good story.
And of course we do need a little of the normalcy to balance us out just as I need Britton and he needs me. And that is what these calm Colorado days are all about. Just remember to get a little dirty every now and then before you go back to rinse and repeat.
