Monthly Archives: April 2010

Tour of JBS Cattle Slaughterhouse

***WARNING*** This post contains explicit descriptions and disturbing images.

Today as part of my Leadership Weld County class, we focused on economic development in the Weld County area. The largest employer and main reason for Greeley’s existence? JBS/Swift formerly known as ConAgra meats, formerly Monfort.

JBS is huge. They employ about 2000 people (mainly blue-collar unskilled labor). The Monfort family was one of the first to start the process of confined feeding operations (feedlots) and expanded into the slaughter. In the factory model, they made the raw product and then the finished one.

The Monfort family still lives in Greeley and are very influential. There is a Monfort School of Business at the University of Northern Colorado, a Monfort Family Clinic, birthing center, school, children’s clinic and many other areas with their name affixed. A local steakhouse is named after one of the early Monforts (Kenny’s). It was only fitting for us to visit JBS to see the economic and other impact on our community.

Our tour guide just happened to be an old family friend who has worked at Monfort/ConAgra/Swift/JBS for about 30 years! It was nice seeing him again and brought up all sorts of memories of my parents hanging out with them, playing softball and spending time together. It’s amazing he has worked there that long! I do not think I could last one day there. But it does show how the people in my community -my friends! rely on this to make a living (or is it a killing?!)

We went from “clean to dirty” as he put it, or the opposite of production. First we had to get all geared up with steel-toed boots, gators, hair nets (and beard nets for the boys), goggles, helmets, ear plugs, gloves and lab coats. Then we saw the packaging of the T-Bones, hamburger, ribeyes, trimming and all the other cuts. There were hundreds of people just hacking into the parts and sawing them in half and other not-so-fun jobs. Next we went to the carcass area where they were all cold and sliced directly in half vertically. I didn’t bring my camera in, but we did get one “group photo” in front of thousands of carcasses. Generally you take photos in front of something beautiful or visually stunning. This was stunning all right, but in a morbidly strange way. What do you think?


Can you find me? (Hint: I am short) Can you count how many dead cows? (Hint: They are more cows than people in this pic)

Next we went to the “Hot” area. It was very hot and pretty stinky. Every time we passed a doorway there was this sudsy soapy stuff we walked through -I am guessing to decrease tracking in stuff. This was the area immediately after the kill floor. We had to run between the huge swinging carcasses.  Luckily, I didn’t actually see a kill because I don’t think I could have stood to see one after another after another. They said they go through about 5,000 to 6,000 cows every DAY! Holy cow! That’s about 2,000,0000 (Two Million!) cows every year! Each 5,000 cows make about 30,000 boxes of 60 lbs of beef. We also learned that their primary customers are McDonald’s, Burger King, Carl’s Jr and other fast food places, Sam’s, Costco and all the major big box grocery stores.

We did learn about how they killed them and saw the immediate after effects. First they use a knocker (like in the movie No Country for Old Men) to render them unconscious but not dead. They need the heart to continue pumping to get all the blood out, which is accomplished by slicing their neck. I watched cow after cow bleed out right in front of me. This, is the mental picture I cannot erase from my head. They tie up the cows by their back legs so the blood can drain out. Their tongues are wagging out and their eyes are open and scary looking. This is my mental image that I made into a drawing:


Disturbing! huh!?

I have to say that while it wasn’t pleasant (at all) I am still glad I went through and saw this. This is the backbone of our community (for better or for worse). I also know why I don’t eat much meat -especially red meat. We didn’t get a chance to see all the feedlots, but Britton and I have flown over them in a small private plane and they go on for miles and miles. Nothing but cows standing in “manure” to put it nicely. Not munching on grass or resting on pasture. Standing knee deep in crap two feet from the next cow that just crapped all over the other one.

And it’s not that I don’t eat meat at all. I am not a vegetarian, but I do try to limit the amount I eat, in order to lessen the demand for such entities like this. I try to support small-scale enterprises and eat pastured meat (and eggs, obviously). I understand economies of scale, but why do we humans try to make factories out of everything? Even living beings like these cows we measure by how many we can cram into a cardboard box.

Plus feedlots emit more greenhouse gases than cars, they introduce antibiotics into our bodies (because they have to give them to the cows or they would be too sick) creating a perfect petri dish for super-bugs, and are given hormones (to fatten them up faster than is normal) that ultimately affect our hormones. And while E. Coli is a naturally occurring bacteria, all the antibiotics and exposure to other sick cows from eating grain-based diets instead of grass creates super-E.Coli in huge amounts which are much more dangerous to people than the regular variety. These huge factories also condense all the waste and pollution into one place and make our backyard literally stink. It’s way worse than our 4 chickens every could possibly stink. Which makes me laugh that we would think a few backyard chickens are the bane of Greeley instead of the huge elephant -er- cow in the room.

So overall, I’d say I feel like this was something I had to see in order to be better educated personally, but now I am further committed to a limited-meat diet and want to give more support for those few independent and sustainable small-scale farmers and ranchers out there trying to compete with these huge factories. And another reminder -go see Food, Inc! It’s a primer on all this stuff, if this is news to you.

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Surprise and S’mores!


Easter basket with REAL colored eggs

This weekend was kind of fun. We didn’t do too much for Easter, but we did have a birthday party to go to on Saturday night. It was our friend Chad’s 30th birthday so his wife decided to throw a surprise birthday party. He had no idea about the party and so it was pretty fun to jump up and yell “Surprise!”. We also had a bonfire and made some S’mores. It reminded me of high school parties. If you grew up around here you would understand. 🙂 It was a good time.


Jamie, Britton and Chad at his party


A tree of marshmallows

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You Can’t Do Everything Yourself

I’ve been running into some trouble here and there.  Nothing major, just normal things that tend to break every now and again.  I am of the mindset that I can do anything and I have proven this to myself thru the years.  I can install sprinklers, I can finish basements (framing, plumbing, electrical), I can work on cars.

Lately I’ve come to realize that I just don’t have the time.

 

In order to fix something you have to have the tools, the knowledge and the time to do it.  The clutch went out on my Honda before we left for vacation. I’ve never done a clutch before so I figured I’d give it a shot.  Saturday morning (one of the only days I get off) I woke up early and got started.  I was taking parts off and making pretty good progress.  Then I came to a point where I couldn’t reach a bolt.  It was a bolt that held the engine onto the transmission.

I tried several different approaches to get to it.  I even took the whole other side of the engine bay out, the tire, the hub and the axle.  Still just couldn’t get a good angle on it.  There just wasn’t enough room. What I needed was an impact wrench.  Well I decided that spending Saturday morning on my back under my car wrestling with a stupid bolt that I needed to spend at least $100 for the right tool to get it out with…just wasn’t worth it.  I put it back together and drove it to the shop.  Went to Puerto Rico and when I came back it was done.  Well…that was easy.

We got a call from one of our renters and the toilet is leaking a bit around the base.  ugh…WeIl I put the toilet on and because the tile had moved the toilet up about 1/2″ it has always been in the back of my mind.  I put a new wax seal on and it appeared to be working fine.

Well here comes one of those decisions.  Should I do it myself and save money?  Again I would find myself spending Saturday morning struggling with bolts, trying to figure out how to cut cast iron and run a new collar to fit with the toilet.  Since I wasn’t entirely sure how this would work out I called to get a quote.  $300 to put all new piping under the floor and seal up the toilet to the floor.  Hmmmm.   Sounds like a deal to me.

I guess I pick and choose my battles depending on what the task is.  I have a lot of work ahead of me this spring.  I need to finish up the landscaping in the back yard at another place.  I need to finish my framing job at another.  I just have too much on my plate without adding to it.  The landscaping I am 100% about the work that needs to be done.  The framing is the same, I know exactly what I need to do.  The plumbing at this older house I would spend a lot of time just researching and trying to find out what needs to be done.  Let alone finding the 1 bolt I need a special tool for.

I would rather put in some extra time at my job doing something I am good at, then under a house frustrated.  Plus we have to clean our house, go shopping, tend to our other small business, run misc errands all on my day off.  Sometimes you just can’t do everything yourself.

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April Fools!

Today was April Fool’s Day and while we don’t usually play pranks, I saw Google’s Topeka gag and thought it would be fun to think up some things. So, I asked if my friend Kelly would get in on it with me and she said yes, as long as I would prank her boyfriend. So here’s what we did.


This one is funny, but would be an extensive and messy office prank, so we stuck to phone pranks

For Britton, we had just recently brought his Honda to the shop to repair a clutch. It was rather expensive and he knows how much I hate to spend money on things like this (no fun! 🙁 ), so I decided that Kelly would act as if she were the mechanic’s office receptionist calling to say that they were going to have to add another $400 to the bill. It went a little something like this:

CASE OF THE EXTRA COSTLY CLUTCH

Kelly: Hello, is this Mr. Britton Kauffman?
Britton: Yes, this is Mr. Britton Kauffman
Kelly: Hi, my name is Ann Hogan and I am calling from Scott’s Import. You recently brought your car in for a clutch repair, is that right?
Britton: Yes, that’s right.
Kelly: Well, it looks like we missed something on the earlier invoice, and we are going to have to add $400 to your bill. It should show up on your credit card statement this evening.
Britton: Wait, what happened? Why do you have to charge me more?
Kelly: Apparently because we had to remove the old clutch and put in a new one, we needed to reformat the clutch pedal and that’s where the extra expense comes in.
(At this point I am cracking up laughing and she is trying hard not to laugh herself)
Britton: Explain to me exactly what you mean by reformatting the clutch pedal.
(This is a term Kelly made up. We don’t know what this is)
Kelly: Well, it happens when we put a new clutch in and…well, that’s just what it says on the invoice. (She is trying hard not to laugh, but a little comes out) I can have my manager call you in about 10 minutes if you would like. He’s on the phone right now.
Britton: This sounds like an April Fool’s joke or something.
Kelly: I will have the manager call you shortly. Thank you and goodbye.

Britton said that he bought into it 100% until he heard some of the laughing and the wonky explanation of formatting the clutch.

So then we had to think of something for Kelly’s boyfriend. He lives on a farm and she has been bugging him to get chickens because, like me, she likes to raise chickens and she thought it would be fun to have a few out at his farm. They also have 2 dogs, one that’s a puppy and one that’s almost full grown. She gave me some specifics, like the name of the mercantile and I went to it. I thought I did pretty good and didn’t laugh at all. I should be an actor!

CHICK DELIVERY GONE HORRIBLY WRONG

Travis: This is Travis
Cassie: Hi is this Travis _____?
Travis: Yes, it is.
Cassie: Hi Travis, this is Autumn Smith from the Brighton Mercantile.
Travis: Oh, yah. Hi. How are you?
Cassie: Ok, I suppose. I was just calling to let you know that we attempted to deliver 30 baby chicks to your farm today as per a Kelly ___. However, it didn’t go very well.
Travis: Oh, really?
Cassie: Yes. Apparently there were some large dogs in the barn when the delivery boy stopped by. And, they attacked the chickens and the delivery boy.
Travis: Well, that doesn’t sound right. Those dogs have never attacked anything.
Cassie: Well, I am just letting you know what happened.
Travis: Can you tell me where the chickens are now?
Cassie: From what I understand, after the dogs attacked and killed some of the chickens and started to go after the delivery boy, he took off as fast as he could. I think he just left them there in your barn.
<<<PAUSE>>>> Kelly is on the other side of the room trying not to laugh.
Travis: Ok, well, what do you want me to do about this?
Cassie: Well, (Dramatic pause…) the delivery boy is considering pressing charges.
Travis: Oh, really!? Oh, that’s just great, sure. Did the dogs lick him to death or something?
Cassie: No, I think one of them bit him.
Travis: So is he hurt? How bad is it?
Cassie: From my understanding, the dog nipped him on the ankle. He’s getting it checked today. But I just thought I would let you know so that you could be prepared for the charges.
Travis: He’s going to charge me after coming onto MY property without MY permission?
Cassie: Well, we had the instructions from Kelly to go onto your property.
Travis: I never gave Kelly my permission to go allow this.
Cassie: I’m not going to argue this, I am just letting you know what happened.
Travis: What was the address this occurred at?
Cassie: (At this point, I don’t know what to say), Um, let me check the files.
Cassie: (Covers the phone) Kelly, what’s Travis’ address?
Kelly: Shoot, I don’t know it off the top of my head…here give me the phone.
Kelly: APRIL FOOLS!

Travis later claims that he wasn’t falling for it the whole time, but I think he did. Why else would he get so upset? It was classic!

And finally, after coming home and talking with Britton about the pranks, we decided to prank his friend Matt. We know that they have a rental house and he told us that he has occasionally seen the tenants smoking in the garage and it drives them nuts (it is a non-smoking house). With this information we proceeded a pretty good prank. Britton lowered and altered his voice and called. Because Matt always screens his calls, first we had to leave a short message:

FIRE CHIEF EXPLANATION

Britton: Hello this is Chief Bonham from the Fire Department. We need to discuss some important issues with you. I’ll try you back in about 5 minutes.

Five minutes ticks by….and Britton calls back. The number is busy. He tries their cell phone and Matt immediately picks up.

Here is Britton’s account of the conversation since I only heard part of it:

Britton: Hello this is Chief Bonham with the fire department.  Are you the owner of xxxx address?
Matt: Yes, yes I am.  Is everything ok?
Britton: Well we had a call at around 3:23pm.  Apparently a lit cigarette caught some rags on fire in the garage.
Matt: Oh my god….um.

Britton: Well the garage got burned up pretty badly but everyone is ok.  The family is going to stay at a hotel tonight.  It’s Colorado state law that the landlord pay for their stay.
Matt: Oh my… I can’t believe it. How extensive is the damage?
Britton: It spread from the garage through the walls and into part of the kitchen, but we can’t allow anyone to stay there until the fire damage is remedied.
Matt: We were just there at 5pm I can’t believe they didn’t say anything?!?!
Britton: Oh wait, hold on a sec Mr ____ <pause….. (talking to nobody, trying to think of what to say to that): “Oh yes, I am on the phone with Mr. ____ right now>
Matt: Oh chief, hello?
Britton: yes
Matt: I think that might be my wife on the other line.

This is where I start to freak out, it’s gone too far.  His wife called the fire department to try and get ahold of… Mr. Bonham..lol.

Britton: Matt??
Matt: yes, I am here.
Britton: APRIL FOOLS
Matt: Who is this??
Britton: (Changing his voice back to normal) It’s Britton -lol
Matt: you F*$&% bastard!
Britton: lolz

They ended up having to tell the FD that it was an April Fool’s joke.  This one could have gotten out of hand, but it didn’t.  Nobody acted on it, nobody got hurt and overall I think it classifies as a case of being “PUNKED”! April Fool’s is all about knowing when to pull the plug when you can really say “you totally fell for it!”

It’s amazing how easy it is to pull people along! Remember what they say, “Believe none of what you hear, and only half of what you see!” Especially on April Fool’s Day!

 

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