I have to admit that this has been a struggle and it still is. At first it’s exciting. You’re in the middle of it. There is a massive storm, you must react in the now. Then the next day there is the aftermath to deal with. Then there is the learning. Where are the resources? How am I going to survive? Is everyone alive?
Now, though, we are just in it. No one is worried about us being alive anymore. Hurricane Maria is not in the news anymore. And so we are just here living without electricity and water for over 4 weeks now! And I am having a hard time. What is your breaking point? Is there any one point? Or is it a slow burn that drives you to the point of lunacy?
It’s not any one thing, but like dust accumulating on a surface, it starts to add up. I am not eating well because food is just not appetizing. Beef with juices and canned foods is great to survive, but terrible to thrive. GI Junk Food is about the worst of the worst!
I have a layer of grime on me that I just can’t wash off. Even my fingernails are dirty and all I want to do is wash my hair. And when I do, I am holding the hose handle outside under a royal palm tree trying to wash off the suds that I can. And don’t even ask about the bed sheets…Oh how I miss the washing machine! But worst of all I feel lost and purposeless because there is no way we can start any new projects without resources. How can you pour a concrete pad without water?!
We work outside clearing trees and have some hope of beautiful days to come when we can plant tropical exotics, but it is hard to want to work in the hot sun when we are trying to use less than 5 gallons of water a day! I am constantly hot and find myself drawn to any body of water. I miss running the fans throughout the day. We are not even accustomed to air conditioning, but fans! Oh, fans! How I love and miss thee!
Military vehicles everywhere
We have some mobility now that gas is fairly available, but we don’t have many places to go. The grocery stores are nearly empty and even restaurants that are open have a menu limitado. All I want to eat is fresh food. A cold salad! The worst is probably the boredom. Without a TV or internet or anything to do, I begin to feel very depressed. Why am I just laying or sitting here sweating, I think. Even my laptop died so I can’t even edit videos!
Aguada sharing the Rincon Post Office
I try to console myself with the fact that we have it a lot better than many people. Most of our neighbors don’t even have a generator or cistern. I don’t know how they do it! Though we have more than many, our neighbors still share with us what they have. They bring us the military food and want to spend time with us. We feel loved and cared for down our little street.
Our first MRE meal
It is disheartening to see our enchanted island so ravaged. It feels like we are in a post-war scenario with all the military vehicles, soldiers and aircraft flying overhead. This has been a true test of wills. Of endurance. Can you handle this? I have had many a break-down; I am certainly not impermeable to the difficulties of this time.
Some people my think that we are not living too far from where we were before. And it’s true. We live in the jungle, we don’t use a phone, we try to live off the land, etc, etc. But in reality this has shaken our world. Partly because there is the collective consciousness that is desperate for some semblance of normalcy. People try to have an “actitud positiva” – it’s something! “Algo es algo” as they say! But when you feel the weight of the situation, it becomes a little harder to bear.
But we’re doing ok. I am just wearing down. My emotions are closer to the surface. I cry a lot more easily. I try to be strong through this but sometimes I feel very weak and powerless. We still look for the small joys in life. Mini missions of pool parties, ice runs (a milagro if you can find it!), water refills at a local spring or the FEMA water station, and of course the constant quest or internet provide us with a welcome distraction from the destruction and the “waiting place” that we are in right now.
Some people have ask how they can help. The Red Cross is present and a few businesses like the Rincon Beer Company have become non-profits. If you want to send us a care package or would like us to forward something to a group, you can reach us at: PO Box 609, Rincon, Puerto Rico 00677. Even words of encouragement would help to lift our spirits.
What do we need? Well, we will survive in any case, but some things that might be helpful through this time include anything that you can think of for extended camping conditions:
-light sources like flashlights and lanterns and their batteries
-anything crank powered
-fans -crank/wind-up and/or battery powered
-non-powered games and toys
-TV shows/movies/music/books/coloring books/etc
-food -healthy food that can last!!!!!!
-floaties/fun stuff for the sea/pool
-solar powered anything
Thanks for thinking of us. We’ll get through this. It’s just been a rough go.