Today was April Fool’s Day and while we don’t usually play pranks, I saw Google’s Topeka gag and thought it would be fun to think up some things. So, I asked if my friend Kelly would get in on it with me and she said yes, as long as I would prank her boyfriend. So here’s what we did.
For Britton, we had just recently brought his Honda to the shop to repair a clutch. It was rather expensive and he knows how much I hate to spend money on things like this (no fun! ), so I decided that Kelly would act as if she were the mechanic’s office receptionist calling to say that they were going to have to add another $400 to the bill. It went a little something like this:
CASE OF THE EXTRA COSTLY CLUTCH
Kelly: Hello, is this Mr. Britton Kauffman?
Britton: Yes, this is Mr. Britton Kauffman
Kelly: Hi, my name is Ann Hogan and I am calling from Scott’s Import. You recently brought your car in for a clutch repair, is that right?
Britton: Yes, that’s right.
Kelly: Well, it looks like we missed something on the earlier invoice, and we are going to have to add $400 to your bill. It should show up on your credit card statement this evening.
Britton: Wait, what happened? Why do you have to charge me more?
Kelly: Apparently because we had to remove the old clutch and put in a new one, we needed to reformat the clutch pedal and that’s where the extra expense comes in.
(At this point I am cracking up laughing and she is trying hard not to laugh herself)
Britton: Explain to me exactly what you mean by reformatting the clutch pedal.
(This is a term Kelly made up. We don’t know what this is)
Kelly: Well, it happens when we put a new clutch in and…well, that’s just what it says on the invoice. (She is trying hard not to laugh, but a little comes out) I can have my manager call you in about 10 minutes if you would like. He’s on the phone right now.
Britton: This sounds like an April Fool’s joke or something.
Kelly: I will have the manager call you shortly. Thank you and goodbye.
Britton said that he bought into it 100% until he heard some of the laughing and the wonky explanation of formatting the clutch.
So then we had to think of something for Kelly’s boyfriend. He lives on a farm and she has been bugging him to get chickens because, like me, she likes to raise chickens and she thought it would be fun to have a few out at his farm. They also have 2 dogs, one that’s a puppy and one that’s almost full grown. She gave me some specifics, like the name of the mercantile and I went to it. I thought I did pretty good and didn’t laugh at all. I should be an actor!
CHICK DELIVERY GONE HORRIBLY WRONG
Travis: This is Travis
Cassie: Hi is this Travis _____?
Travis: Yes, it is.
Cassie: Hi Travis, this is Autumn Smith from the Brighton Mercantile.
Travis: Oh, yah. Hi. How are you?
Cassie: Ok, I suppose. I was just calling to let you know that we attempted to deliver 30 baby chicks to your farm today as per a Kelly ___. However, it didn’t go very well.
Travis: Oh, really?
Cassie: Yes. Apparently there were some large dogs in the barn when the delivery boy stopped by. And, they attacked the chickens and the delivery boy.
Travis: Well, that doesn’t sound right. Those dogs have never attacked anything.
Cassie: Well, I am just letting you know what happened.
Travis: Can you tell me where the chickens are now?
Cassie: From what I understand, after the dogs attacked and killed some of the chickens and started to go after the delivery boy, he took off as fast as he could. I think he just left them there in your barn.
<<<PAUSE>>>> Kelly is on the other side of the room trying not to laugh.
Travis: Ok, well, what do you want me to do about this?
Cassie: Well, (Dramatic pause…) the delivery boy is considering pressing charges.
Travis: Oh, really!? Oh, that’s just great, sure. Did the dogs lick him to death or something?
Cassie: No, I think one of them bit him.
Travis: So is he hurt? How bad is it?
Cassie: From my understanding, the dog nipped him on the ankle. He’s getting it checked today. But I just thought I would let you know so that you could be prepared for the charges.
Travis: He’s going to charge me after coming onto MY property without MY permission?
Cassie: Well, we had the instructions from Kelly to go onto your property.
Travis: I never gave Kelly my permission to go allow this.
Cassie: I’m not going to argue this, I am just letting you know what happened.
Travis: What was the address this occurred at?
Cassie: (At this point, I don’t know what to say), Um, let me check the files.
Cassie: (Covers the phone) Kelly, what’s Travis’ address?
Kelly: Shoot, I don’t know it off the top of my head…here give me the phone.
Kelly: APRIL FOOLS!
Travis later claims that he wasn’t falling for it the whole time, but I think he did. Why else would he get so upset? It was classic!
And finally, after coming home and talking with Britton about the pranks, we decided to prank his friend Matt. We know that they have a rental house and he told us that he has occasionally seen the tenants smoking in the garage and it drives them nuts (it is a non-smoking house). With this information we proceeded a pretty good prank. Britton lowered and altered his voice and called. Because Matt always screens his calls, first we had to leave a short message:
FIRE CHIEF EXPLANATION
Britton: Hello this is Chief Bonham from the Fire Department. We need to discuss some important issues with you. I’ll try you back in about 5 minutes.
Five minutes ticks by….and Britton calls back. The number is busy. He tries their cell phone and Matt immediately picks up.
Here is Britton’s account of the conversation since I only heard part of it:
Britton: Hello this is Chief Bonham with the fire department. Are you the owner of xxxx address?
Matt: Yes, yes I am. Is everything ok?
Britton: Well we had a call at around 3:23pm. Apparently a lit cigarette caught some rags on fire in the garage.
Matt: Oh my god….um.
Britton: Well the garage got burned up pretty badly but everyone is ok. The family is going to stay at a hotel tonight. It’s Colorado state law that the landlord pay for their stay.
Matt: Oh my… I can’t believe it. How extensive is the damage?
Britton: It spread from the garage through the walls and into part of the kitchen, but we can’t allow anyone to stay there until the fire damage is remedied.
Matt: We were just there at 5pm I can’t believe they didn’t say anything?!?!
Britton: Oh wait, hold on a sec Mr ____ <pause….. (talking to nobody, trying to think of what to say to that): “Oh yes, I am on the phone with Mr. ____ right now>
Matt: Oh chief, hello?
Matt: I think that might be my wife on the other line.
This is where I start to freak out, it’s gone too far. His wife called the fire department to try and get ahold of… Mr. Bonham..lol.
Matt: yes, I am here.
Britton: APRIL FOOLS
Matt: Who is this??
Britton: (Changing his voice back to normal) It’s Britton -lol
Matt: you F*$&% bastard!
They ended up having to tell the FD that it was an April Fool’s joke. This one could have gotten out of hand, but it didn’t. Nobody acted on it, nobody got hurt and overall I think it classifies as a case of being “PUNKED”! April Fool’s is all about knowing when to pull the plug when you can really say “you totally fell for it!”
It’s amazing how easy it is to pull people along! Remember what they say, “Believe none of what you hear, and only half of what you see!” Especially on April Fool’s Day!